Beyond the Illusion

I like to start my talk with a joke. So here is one for today:

A doctor was having trouble with the plumbing in his house and finally decided that he had to call a plumber. He hated doing this because he knew that it would be expensive, but he had no other choice. So he called in a plumber and after the repair was done, he looked at the bill and said, “This is more than I make, and I am a doctor!” The plumber said, “I know, that’s more than I made when I was a doctor.”


I want to share what has become one of the most important decisions in my life. I decided that I would not make decisions based on fear. Fear is a reason to be cautious, and take additional steps such as look for help, or do research. However, it is not a good reason to not do something. That includes fears such as being alone, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, or the fear of making a fool of myself.


Shortly after making this decision, I met Judith Conrad and she helped me realize that I needed to go on a Vision Quest. So I took five days off, days of it alone in the forest. Being alone was frightening to me. With a family of five, riding a commuter bus or driving a car pool, and working in the Shipyard, I had seldom been alone for decades. However, I realized that the only real reason that I would not go on a Vision Quest was fear. So I went ahead and what I learned was, “I am fooled by the Physical.”


I really appreciate the opportunity to give talks for our Sunday Service. Thank you. The process for me starts about two weeks before the scheduled date. Usually I am not sure what I will be talking about, and of course, no clue as to what I will say. So I become apprehensive. This fear increases as I get closer to the talk. There is a deadline, I must come up with a title and description in advance and send it in. So I do it, but in a way that makes it worse because now I am committed. I start on an outline and then writing the text. I usually have little done until Saturday and sometimes it is not completed until Sunday morning. I prepare notes from the text for giving the talk. Once I have given the talk, I make any changes to the text, and post it on my website. When this is finished, I feel really good and am very grateful for the experience.


So a summary of my process is about two weeks of misery followed by joy and satisfaction. Is it worth it? If you asked me during those two weeks, I would say No. But after the talk I would say, Absolutely.


Why? Because my talks are based on my Spiritual Journey. In general, I can’t see the forest for the trees. That is, day-to-day I keep my head down and focus on taking the next step. But when I am forced to write about my journey and organize it into an understandable narrative, I have to raise my head up, look around, and pay attention. I discover things I overlooked, remember things I have forgotten, and put things together in a new way. Often I discover something important.


I was really sick for four weeks starting on Dec. 21. Christmas did not really exist for me. Finally I got over it. Then last Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I came down with the flu. My thought was, “Call Vicki and tell her you can’t give the talk. Email her. You can do it some other time.” But my intuition said that I needed to give the talk. I remembered, “I am fooled by the Physical.”


Since Dec. 21, it has been a strange and confusing time for me. Sometimes what happens to me, happens to others. So if you are in a strange and confusing time, pay attention. Here is what I heard one morning in meditation:

1. You cannot depend on the Physical. Everything changes.

2. It’s an illusion. A dream. Notice how you are having trouble telling if you are asleep and dreaming or if you are in the Illusion (of Life) and asleep.

3. You know how to connect with being Awake (Going beyond the Illusion). How do you get out of the dream?


My talks are to describe what I think is going on. I like to call it my “Best Guess.” I am a work in progress. It is a journey. Not a destination. Feel free to pick and choose what is helpful for you. Set aside the rest to possibly reconsider in the future. This is important for me. Some things that I have immediately felt were “Airy Fairy,” and would have thrown away, I have later come to accept and value.


I’d like to revisit my past talks as they relate to today’s talk.


In December 2019 I said that my next adventure would be to seek enlightenment. Enlightenment is descried in Jesus, My Autobiography as “… the absolute transformation of mind, removing all the blocks to love’s presence – removing all blocks, all fears, and all hatreds …” I did not know how I would do that.


In May 2020 I shared a vision. The vision was of a large flat black disk, like a phonograph record with a column of White Light coming up from the center. I interpreted the black disk as being Life and the column of White Light as the way of escaping Life. This column of Light was not death.


In May 2021 my talk was “How do I recognize Ego?” It gave some tests for detecting Ego. More about this later.


In May 2022 my talk was Half & Half. We are half human and half Devine. As long as we have a body, we are human.


In July 2022 – “It’s an Illusion!” It sounded happy and light.

So what is “It?” What is the Illusion? If we are Going Home – we need to get beyond the Illusion. To get beyond the Illusion, it is important to recognize what is the Illusion.


Here is what I have learned and experienced since my talk in July:


1 John 4:8 (K.J.V.) He that loveth not, knowth not God, for God is love.” I remember a shortened version “God is Love.” However, I have come to think of Love as more powerful and more encompassing than what we usually think of.


Sometimes it helps me to think of the Illusion as a Dream, a Movie, or a Magic trick. For example as a Dream: when you are young, Life is a dream. When you are old, Life becomes a nightmare. As a Magic trick: most Magic tricks work by distraction and it seems to me that Life is becoming more and more distractive.


For me, the Illusion now encompasses life, death, afterlife, reincarnation, dimensions, the Universe, maybe everything that we humans have thought of and will think of. It has been said that going from the Illusion to what is Real is too much of a shock and that we need an in-between state such as the Happy Dream.


Brian Jones leads our weekly Course in Miracles class. Brian says that the only thing that is real is Love. When I first heard this, I was not ready to believe that it was true. In Life when I experienced the presence of GOD in different ways, the experience has been essentially the same. I have come to call this The ALL. My primary inner sense is feeling. So my experience of The ALL could be described as feeling intense Heart energy. Love.


Buddha was once asked what the difference was between him and others. The answer was that he was “Awake.” Something that has been helpful for me comes from the book Dialogue on Awakening by Tom and Linda Carpenter. We read this book in our Course in Miracles class. In the book are conversations with Jesus. In one conversation, Jesus said that we are “Awake.” So the process is not one of waking up, but of becoming aware that we are Awake. I would describe it as moving our conscious awareness to where we are Awake. This is what is Real.


In the Vision of the big flat disk I now think of the disk as Illusion and the White Column as the path toward Enlightenment. I have been working for years to go up the column. When I finally reached the top of the column last Summer, I went “Beyond the Illusion.”


The ALL is what I experience beyond the Illusion, and it seems to be all that I experience. Beyond the Illusion, my primary inner sense is knowing.


Here are some things that I accepted intellectually. Expressed in my own words:


Our bodies and this World do not exist.

There is one presence and one power, God the Good omnipotent.

God is all there is and present everywhere.

We are all One.

There is only One of us.

Human beings have a Devine Nature.

We never left Heaven and we were never separate from God.


Beyond the Illusion, I have experienced all of these, and they are true. I want to emphasize that this is a knowing. I know that they are true.


Our Alohem meditation group’s quarterly 3 or 4-day retreat is called Mastership. I lead the Mastership meditations. In Fall and Winter Masterships we went beyond the Illusion.


People in our Alohem group have talked about the experience of going beyond the Illusion. Of course our experiences are different. Here is what I think most of us share:

Everything is Love.

Our inner sense is knowing.

It is beyond duality.

It is very different, very much a new experience.

Life and the Physical World do not really exist. They are like smoke.

It is now difficult to be in the World.

We can feel isolated.


I have wondered, and others have too: Could this be Ego? After all, “Ego never sleeps!”


Here are some ways to test for Ego:


1. Emotions – The Love I experience is a feeling, not an emotion.

2. Believing that this is Real. I have tested this with my intuition and the answer is that it is Real.

3. Checking with my Spiritual Family – I need to do more of this.

4. Being Right -

5. Judging others

6. Wanting something


As far as the last three go: when I am beyond the Illusion, I don’t feel that I am right, there seems to be no others to judge, and there seems nothing to want. Everything is Love. And the Illusion does not seem to really exist. It can seem like the material in a lava lamp, not really having a form and always changing. Or like light fog, it does not really have substance. However, things can be confusing when I am in the Illusion.


It has been suggested that perhaps this is an interim step. For example, using the vision of the big flat disk, maybe this is the next big disk? Or perhaps there are other steps to really reach that which is Real.


I don’t think that there are more steps for me to experience what is Real. I do think that there is more for me to do. My perception is that I am in the body. Conversations with Jesus indicate that the body is a projection of the mind. And that what powers the Illusion is the belief that we have in our mind. I find parts of the conversations with Jesus confusing so I know that I have more to learn. However, many of the conversations and what we have been reading relative to the Course in Miracles, or in the actual Course, now make sense to me. Before, most of it did not and was confusing.


I believe that, through meditation, I have gone beyond the Illusion. The experience has changed my life. One person in my Spiritual Family has also done this on their own. So you could do that too. However, it may be much easier to do it through Mastership. See Carole Glenn for details on the classes to reach Mastership. The next Mastership is scheduled for April 13 to 16.


In summary – This is a strange and confusing time for me.


I am fooled by the Physical.


I need to pay attention to my intuition and not depend on the Physical.


I am Awake outside of the Illusion. I have found a way there. I can go beyond the Illusion and can help others.


Bottom Line - Rumi said it well


“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”


I believe that field is Beyond the Illusion.


Meditation – I would like to lead a mediation that can help us realize how the mind can affect the Physical. Breaking the Cosmic Egg.


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