In Retrospect
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I am solely responsible for this talk, and what I say or do. This should not be considered as endorsed by Unity or by this Church. I often present what I call, “My Best Guess.” And of course, this is subject to change. I believe the purpose of writing this talk was to cause me to pause, and reflect on what I have left to do. The purpose of giving this talk is to share that information. To share my Best Guess.
. I want to share a family joke with you. My Father was a skilled golfer and would go golfing with a group of friends about his age. When I was young, he was still carrying a bag. I learned to caddy for him, and found out it was a lot of work to carry a golf bag full of clubs. My Father was in his 50’s, and so were his golfing buddies. One time, a young man found out that my Dad played golf and asked to play with him and his friends. Dad said that it would be OK if he could keep up with them. The young man, probably in his late 20’s and in good shape, said it would be no problem. So the day came when he was invited to go with them for 18 holes. He started out fresh and strong; no problem keeping up. However, as they played he became tired. By the second nine, he was falling behind. They sometimes had to stop and wait for him to catch up. Of course they pointed out that he was having trouble keeping up with the “old men.” Around the 17th hole, he was exhausted, and when he finally got to his ball, he threw his bag on the ground. A bunch of heavy rocks rolled out. The older guys had been slowly adding rocks the whole time… That might have been the one and only time he played golf with them. .
In September, I turned 80. Our daughters gave me two balloons: an eight and a zero. When I look at them, it feels like seeing rocks spill out of a golf bag. Eighty! That’s a lot of years!
. In eighty years, I have learned some things about myself. One is that I am a “High Thought” person. That is, I need time to think about things. As a result, I can take a long time to figure out what has happened. Sometimes decades. This is why I am very grateful to give these talks. I spend days, even weeks, thinking about what is happening in my Life. I see information or events that I missed. I put things together in a different way. And I have help.
. I like to do things myself. I like to do something that has not been done before. Or at least, something I haven’t done before. I like to discovering things. More than once, I have heard that I am remembering things instead of discovering them. . I like Simple. I have said this many times in my talks. One of Kay’s messages to me is, “Don’t make it complex.” Recently I read where complex is of the Ego. A Sufi Master once told me, “Simple, but not Easy.” Simple and Easy are not the same. . My first wife, Kay, was the most naturally psychic person I have known. She had turned off her psychic ability as a child and said nothing about it. We had been married for eight years when suddenly, and totally unexpectedly, her psychic ability was turned back on. She could not control it. It was only through finding a meditation class by Dr. June d’Estelle that she was able to gain control. This mediation class was also how I began to consciously follow my Spiritual Path. We took June’s meditation classes for years and became part of her meditation group. This group was named the Alohem and continues to this day. Through June, we met her daughter, Carole Glenn. Kay and Carole have supported me on my journey. Carole and I married in the Church in January of 2025. Kay and Carole are my spiritual partners and we are on an incredible Spiritual Journey. One that may have taken Lifetimes. . In Life, Kay would never lead me on my Spiritual Journey. Sometime she would confirm what I had already found out. She vowed never to lead a meditation, and she never did. However, just before she passed in August 2024, she taught me a meditation. I used this meditation to keep in touch with her. Since passing, she has given me messages and has led me on my journey. I am not sure why she made the change to lead me, but I am very grateful. . Not long ago, I realized that everything changes. Everything! At eighty, it is easier to see the flow of change. I will be thinking of an something in the past, and then stop and realize that it and the people that I knew are long gone. I am clueless about things that are common knowledge, to younger people. I get help from our children or grandchildren. My parents lived into their 80’s. I remember my mother looking in the mirror and asking, “Who is this old person? I still feel twenty inside.” Now that is happening to me. . Another part of turning 80, is I am running out of time. I even heard in meditation: “You are running out of time.” I am fortunate to be in good health. However, this leads to an expectation that it will continue. That can change suddenly. Recently in meditation, I heard, “Catch the wave.” I believe this is the wave of good health. I need to focus on what I have left to do before the wave passes. . Perhaps the reason that Kay is now leading me, is I am running out of time. . So what do I think I have left to do? . In the Fall of 2002, I went on a Vision Quest to find my next trip. I had been on amazing Spiritual Adventures to Nepal and Tibet. So I was thinking maybe Mongolia, or India. Instead I heard, “Retire.” I thought, “Retire???” “Retire before the end of May.” I thought, “OK, I know this voice. I need to retire before May, 2004.” Then I heard, “No, May 2003.” I thought, “That is too early, I know these things, I am an engineer.” Again I heard, “Retire before May, 2003.” It wasn’t easy, but I did it. After I left work, I took a trip to visit my daughter in Oklahoma. It was a very confusing time, because I didn’t know what to do. Then, while meditating in Oklahoma, I heard: “You are to be a Mystic: Masters, Doctors, Book.” I have done everything except the Book. So one thing I still need to do is write a book. . For fifteen years, from 2009 to 2024, Kay was on a journey of decreasing mobility, lost memory, and pain. I was her caregiver and often wondered why this was happening to such a sweet and loving person. I remember when she started to get red splotches on her arms and the back of her hands. They sort of looked like bruises. She called them “age spots.” The other day an age spot appeared on my arm. A reminder that I am on a similar journey. While I don’t know why Kay had a difficult and painful end to her life, I do know that it gave me the conviction to Not come back again. Not to reincarnate. I want to go Home. . I like groups of three. So I need a third thing. I have decided it is to follow my Spiritual Path. I do that by making decisions using Intuition. I have found that Intuition is much more powerful and accurate than Logic. Logic deals with the known. Intuition deals with both the known and the unknown. The unknown is always greater. However some sources say that Intuition does not always work. I have found that to be true and often make simple Intuitive choices that I can check. When I see that the choice was good and sometimes magical, I know that my Intuition is working. When the choice was not good and not magical, I open up to learn what to do. . So here are three things that I have left to do:
Write a Book, Go Home, and follow my Spiritual Path. . I have been thinking about and preparing this talk for over a week. I was feeling pretty good as things seemed to be coming together. The notes I had written could also be used for the Book. Two birds with one stone. Then, last Wednesday, in the middle of the night, I felt Kay’s presence and I could feel my thoughts changing. I didn’t hear words, it was more a feeling of connection and oneness. My journey with Kay is now toward Wholeness and Oneness. I can now identify three changes that have taken place.
. 1. I put most of my notes aside and saved them for the book. .
2. I was focused on eighty years of Life. What is greater is an accumulation of lifetimes. This accumulation can be though of as many reincarnations, or many lives. It doesn’t matter. We are One. What matters is not to underestimate how important it is to find a way to go Home. .
3. There is a parallel between escaping the Illusion and the successful Spiritual Journeys I have taken. . Of the three things I have to do, perhaps there is really only one. Find a way to go Home. Find a way to escape the Illusion, the Dream. Then write a book about it. . My last talk was about the Illusion that we call Life. I decided that it is useful to also call it a Dream. An important question is, “What Can Happen in a Dream?” The answer is “Anything.” From my perspective, the Dream has become a nightmare. Yesterdays “No Kings” demonstrations indicate that a lot of people in our country are also experiencing a nightmare. But when we are sleeping and have a nightmare, we don’t try to fix it. We wake up. We find that it is not Real and existed only in our mind. . Kay reminded me that this is a journey and that I have successful taken journeys before. Now I recognize the feeling. Feelings are the language of the Soul. Perhaps the most important feeling is a calling. A calling to return Home. And the need to find my Best Guess as to how to do that. Simple, but not easy. . My observation is that, traditional religious methods and teachings are not working. What I like about Unity, is that it recognizes diversity. As one of my Mystic mentors said, “The purpose of the Church should be to support us on our Spiritual Journey, not tell us what it is.” I have and continue to support this Church in doing that. . Decades ago, through an amazing journey, I became aware of the Course in Miracles. When I tried reading and studing it, it did not work for me. But I loved being with the people who were drawn to it. Kay insisted that we attend the local group in this Church. I went with her, but continued to find it befuddling. The Course in Miracles is credibly from Jesus. It is very different from the Bible. Kay convinced me to attend the Course in Miracles class, in this Church, lead by Brian Jones. At first we were reading and studying the Course. As before, I did not find it useful. Then Brian started leading us on his journey, reading books that help with understanding the Course. This really works for me. Carole and I are attending two of Brian Jones’ Course in Miracles classes each week. One is on Monday in Silverdale, and the other is here on Thursdays. They are helping me find my Best Guess on how to return Home. . Last October, Carole and I took a trip to Hood River Oregon so she could teach a class. Then we went on to Breitenbush Hot Springs. At that time, Carole was having mobility issues. She had to use a walker to get around and without it, sometimes would fall. In September we had taken a trip to the Chelan area to stay overnight with friends. It was a difficult trip under good circumstances. However, our friends were wonderful and we were glad we went. Logic said not to go to Hood River, and once there, not to continue to Breitenbush. However, my Intuition said that we needed to do both. It was difficult, but wonderful. At Breitenbush we met Anna. A very psychic woman and her special friend Will, from North Carolina. We have remained in touch, and Anna has provided me with the best description of today’s meditation: “Connecting the Light inside with the Light that surrounds us.” . Many years ago, before I became a Mystic, I had the totally unexpected Vision of the importance of the Light Inside. Everything faded and I became aware of the Light inside people around me. I heard, “This building, this Earth, these bodies shall all pass away. But this shall remain.” So everything will pass away, in essence, the Universe will Disappear, but the Light will remain. . Carole and I were watching an old Christmas episode of Home Improvement. This series was popular when our children were growing up. Four of the boys in the Church were in a Choir and each had a single letter on their robe. The letters, N, O, E, L. As they were getting ready to sing, they stood up in front of the congregation and the letters spelled out L,E,O,N. A reminder that you can have all the right information, but put it together wrong. . I once talked to a College Class in California about my journey to Nepal. It seems so incredible, filled with unexpected magic. It was when I became a Mystic. But I didn’t realize I was a Mystic until years later. A student in the class said. “You were just meant to go to Nepal!” As I thought about this comment, I was reminded of all the work that I did for well over a year. All of the things I had to learn, and put in place to leave my family and job. To travel to the other side of the World for five weeks, in search of a Monastery I wasn’t even sure existed. I had never been to Asia, let alone trekking on foot, carrying everything I needed, to over 13,000 feet. Roughly 1,000 ft below the height of Mt. Rainier. Possibly the most difficult thing I have done. “No,” I said, “I was meant to have the Opportunity.” . I now believe I have the Opportunity to return Home. It has taken my eight years to get to this point. And, it has taken us many Lifetimes. This is what I have left to do. . Meditation . As a Mystic, this is the most important part of the service. The purpose of the talk is to help prepare us for the meditation. . This is a simple meditation that I believe will take us Home. First we will use the path our meditation group established to move our awareness from the Head to the Heart. Then we will open our heart and feel Unconditional Love. GOD is Love. The didgeridoo can be Spiritual WD-40. So I will play it with that intention. The sound of the didgeridoo is not for everyone. And this meditation may not be for you. Follow your own path. .
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